I’ve been dragging my feet on writing a new post for a few weeks and there are a couple of reasons why. Reason #1- I couldn’t pick a topic. Reason #2- my mind has been a whirlwind of all sorts of craziness. Reason #3- Violet decided her bed time was Ten O’Clock for a hot second there and I just about lost my mind. Here is what I’ve come up with:
Going forward, if you are hateful, you won’t be an important person in my life. End of story. It’s not because I don’t respect your right to have your *own* opinions….it’s because I don’t respect the way in which you chose to voice your opinion. I just can’t. I get it: I grew up in one of the smallest most closed-minded towns in America. I know first hand how people end up prejudice and scared of things they know *nothing* about. I took the roots that I was born with and learned how to expand them. What I found was a whole world full of so many interesting people. Would I make the same choices as everyone I meet? Nope. Do I agree with the lifestyles of said interesting people? Not always. Does that give me a reason to judge them? Certainly not.
I’m going to break this down for you on a basic level. I hate spiders, I always have. I have no logical reason to hate spiders as I know that they are a very important member of our ecosystem. Now that I’m a mommy I have a decision to make. Do I teach violet my irrational fear of spiders, or do I put my big girl panties on and teach her to appreciate nature more than I do?
Our children watch everything we do and say. They mimic our every move with perfection. I’ll admit that I often forget how much my 21 month old knows about the world around her. Last month most of Facebook was crying out for marriage equality. A friend of mine posted something hateful in opposition. It caught me off guard and disgusted me to my core. Not because she has an opinion opposite of mine, but because of her closed-mindedness and the way in which she doesn’t seem willing to open her mind or heart to see it any other way. What’s sad is that her children are also learning to hate. The same day, another friend posted the notion that its not our job to “toughen up” our kids to survive this cruel cruel world, but rather to raise kids who are accepting of the whole world around them. This is how we change things. This is how we stop hate….it’s starts with us and more so with our children. It’s refreshing to think of how far we’ve come. I’m sure that my homophobic friend is thankful for her right to vote. In a reality not too long ago, she did not have that right.
The issues that bring people to hate are tough and hard to talk about. Like marriage equality, abortion rights, gun control… As a general rule of thumb I don’t blast my opinions of these things on the Internet ( to me, Facebook is for posting pictures of my adorable baby). Here is what I will say to anyone who is hateful: I will show you love and empathy, I will listen to your opinion and to how you got there….but only if you promise to listen to mine and to have an open mind. Here is how it will go with the spider dilemma. “Violet, for some reason mommy never really liked spiders. But guess what I learned about them…they spin gorgeous webs that are beautiful when the dew falls on them. And spiders eat those pesky mosquitoes that bite us in the summer. I am thankful for spiders, even if I choose to be thankful for them from afar”. In the end, if you are still a hater, that’s cool too, I just don’t want you around my kid. She’s just *so* impressionable and I can’t afford to have that kind of negativity around her.
By all means, have your opinions, even if they are different from mine. Stay true to who you are…that’s what makes this world an amazing place. It’s just that if you are a hater, I will love you and send you positive vibes from afar. 😊