I was feeling a little bummed out the other night. Violet is on vacation with her dad, and I miss her. I wanted to take her and L to the magical sunflower field in the next town over and take their picture. By the time Violet is home from her vacay–the magic will be gone.
So then I thought I’d just take L. And then I thought–how can I take pictures of such a little dude next to such big flowers.
Then I thought I’d just take myself. (And my camera) I packed it in the car before work and had plans to stop on my way home. And then I didn’t. I don’t know why…I just felt sad about going alone.
Last night I was changing L’s diaper butt and I looked out the window. It was a gorgeous evening. Without much thought I scooped him up, grabbed my camera and went to the field.
It’s like a 3 mile dive at the most. The first mile I was thinking “how’s this going to work?”. The next mile I’m like, “maybe I’ll just selfie–it’ll be fine”. In the homestretch I was just excited to see the sunflowers up close, (and the bees too!).
When I started to take L out of his Shark Stroller, a girl asked if I would like her to take our picture. So yeah, that’s pretty amazing. She took some pictures of my Duke and me, and my soul felt happy.
So here is my point. Sometimes life gets you down. Adulting is hard. I hate going 8 hours without my Violet–let alone a whole week. Sometimes L would rather kick me in the throat than sleep. Maybe you feel the dark cloud of depression telling you to skip the Sunflower field this year since nothing matters anyway and it didn’t all work how exactly how you pictured it.
Don’t let that shit rule your life. You matter, and your thoughts and opinions matter too. If all you can feel is the weight of the world–go find something beautiful. Drink it in. Appreciate that one thing, even if it’s only for a hot second.
There is beauty all around us. It’s in the smile you give to the old man walking down the street. It’s in the summer sunset. It’s in the thunder rolling through the sky. It’s in your children laughing. It’s in the Sunflower field.
PSS: If you’re in a dark place with no beauty or magic–call me. I can’t promise that I’ll know what to say, or that I’ll be able to relate. I can promise to listen. And to help you curl up in a blanket and hide for a little bit, if that is what you need. I’ve been through some shit, too. I don’t want you to go through your shit alone.
Love, Light and Peace to you all. ❤️