I was feeling a little bummed out the other night. Violet is on vacation with her dad, and I miss her.  I wanted to take her and L to the magical sunflower field in the next town over and take their picture.  By the time Violet is home from her vacay–the magic will be gone.   

So then I thought I’d just take L.  And then I thought–how can I take pictures of such a little dude next to such big flowers.  

Then I thought I’d just take myself.  (And my camera) I packed it in the car before work and had plans to stop on my way home.  And then I didn’t.  I don’t know why…I just felt sad about going alone.  

Last night I was changing L’s diaper butt and I looked out the window.  It was a gorgeous evening.  Without much thought I scooped him up, grabbed my camera and went to the field.  

It’s like a 3 mile dive at the most.  The first mile I was thinking “how’s this going to work?”.  The next mile I’m like, “maybe I’ll just selfie–it’ll be fine”.  In the homestretch I was just excited to see the sunflowers up close, (and the bees too!).  

When I started to take L out of his Shark Stroller, a girl asked if I would like her to take our picture.  So yeah, that’s pretty amazing.  She took some pictures of my Duke and me, and my soul felt happy.  

(Photo taken by a super sweet girl named Marlee Snyder.  Thanks, lady!)

So here is my point.  Sometimes life gets you down.  Adulting is hard.  I hate going 8 hours without my Violet–let alone a whole week.  Sometimes L would rather kick me in the throat than sleep.  Maybe you feel the dark cloud of depression telling you to skip the Sunflower field this year since nothing matters anyway and it didn’t all work how exactly how you pictured it.  

Don’t let that shit rule your life.  You matter, and your thoughts and opinions matter too.  If all you can feel is the weight of the world–go find something beautiful.  Drink it in.  Appreciate that one thing, even if it’s only for a hot second. 

 There is beauty all around us.  It’s in the smile you give to the old man walking down the street.  It’s in the summer sunset. It’s in the thunder rolling through the sky.  It’s in your children laughing.  It’s in the Sunflower field.  

PS:  little dudes and big flowers are perfectly acceptable to photograph.  

PSS:  If you’re in a dark place with no beauty or magic–call me.  I can’t promise that I’ll know what to say, or that I’ll be able to relate.  I can promise to listen.  And to help you curl up in a blanket and hide for a little bit, if that is what you need.  I’ve been through some shit, too.  I don’t want you to go through your shit alone.  

Love, Light and Peace to you all. ❤️


Introductions and such…

My name is Tori…and I’m new to this blogging thing. I like to write and I like to use the dot dot dot thing a lot. …

Anyway, I told my mom that I am starting a blog and she said “what for?”. Thanks for the support, Mom. In her defense, she is super worried about me because she thinks that I am addicted to technology (read: I spend too much time reading other people’s blogs and connecting with like-minded adults on social media).

To answer your question, Mom, I am starting a blog because I love to write. I’ve had a pretty interesting life so far. I’ve learned a lot and want to keep learning more. Just maybe another single mom who likes to scroll through new stuff on her iPhone will stumble upon my blog and feel better about life. Or maybe not–but either way its good for the soul to cleanse through a creative outlet.

Here are the basics: I am full-time working single mom. I have a daughter who lights up my life all of the time. My daughter has a brother, who is still technically my step-son, and who will always hold a special place in my heart. I love him as if he were my own. I don’t hate my Ex, because I don’t hate anyone…hate is only harmful to the hater. I am, however, still pretty angry with the whole situation…I’m working on it. Anger isn’t healthy either. With that being said, I strive to always keep the peace. To always show the important people in my life that I love them, and to enjoy every second I have with my Violet.

I’m a believer in peaceful parenting and will probably write about that a lot. I’m struggling to find the line between “live and let live” and “go give that parent your research-based opinion”. I *know* for a fact that I don’t know everything. I’m pretty sure I’m not doing this right a lot of the time. But I do know that my children will always know that I love them and support them, no matter what.

I have a crazy family….but who doesn’t? I’m sure I’ll be posting about those shenanigans…for cleansing purposes, of course. I love sports, (mostly hockey and baseball). Right now my dream is to be able to spend a full day making old-school scrapbook pages. I know, I dream big. It’s just that I really love to scrapbook and I haven’t made a single page since Violet was born.

I live in a pretty cool apartment with my awesome “crunchy mom” friend Suzy. She is an amazing cook and her kiddo is full of spirit. We have lots of fun adventures that I’ll be sure to share.

That’s about it for now.